Sunday, April 30, 2023
Naturally
Thursday, April 27, 2023
O Dubai
Today will be a short post. Now is not the right time to drop everything and fly to Dubai for work opportunity. I need to focus on getting my health back in order and my heart healed. What is meant to be yours will not escape you. When one door closes, another opens. Speaking of which, I need to complete the aptitude test sent by a prospective employer. Wish me luck!
Chances Are
Monday, April 24, 2023
Respite
Thursday, April 20, 2023
Remember Me
Tuesday, April 18, 2023
1998
Saturday, April 15, 2023
Borrowed Time
Thursday, April 13, 2023
Bluemoon
Acquaintances come and go but a true friend stays, for better or worse. One who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are. Thank you, J. I value your friendship and presence. I end my post with a beautiful quote: True friends are never apart - maybe in distance but never in heart ❤.
Friday, April 07, 2023
Companionship
The girls came visiting, to check up on me, see how I was doing (thank you for the care and concern!). Shared details of the alternative treatment I am on. My advice is to not see cancer as a death sentence. Read up and understand its true nature in order to get the right treatment that will do justice to your body that is on loan to you on this earth by God. Truly enjoyed their company - had a great time catching up on each other's lives and the much needed laughter and hugs! ❤
Wednesday, April 05, 2023
040423
Since August, you have been a constant in my mind and I pray that life treats you kind. When I saw your text message, I was quietly relieved. Thank you for conveying the message and your kind words of encouragement. I understand you need time to heal. And the first step to healing is 'opening the door' (let's talk it out when you are ready). My last wish of you is to not dwell on past hurt or disappointment that will fester and hold you hostage - let it go. You owe it, not to me, but to yourself. You deserve a better life.
Monday, March 13, 2023
Heal
This will be a long post, but worth the read if you are considering cancer treatment naturally.
Our body is created intelligent – it can heal itself! Given the right nutrients, it can function optimally naturally. We need to preserve it from neglect and abuse. We owe it to ourselves because we only have one chance at a quality life so take the responsibility to make it count!
After a near-death experience while overseas last December (I was breathless despite no history of asthma, bronchitis, pneumonia, tuberculosis and was wheel-chaired to the hospital to get nebulized; a chest x-ray was done; I was diagnosed with having acute bronchitis and prescribed a cough mixture, antibiotics, and nebulizer).
Flew back and was hospitalized in January (a first for me!) because I developed high fever (natural reflex of the body when it is healing itself), had jaundice (symptoms of impending organ failure) and oedema (swelling of the feet, symptoms of toxin build-up). Doctors ran tests after tests (as tests for Covid and Mers came back negative) as they could not pin-point what was wrong with me (it was a traumatic experience as they treated me like a ‘lab rat’!).
I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in February based on results from the CT scan, MRI, and biopsy (histology test). I requested for time to read up (process the information) and seek second opinion before making an informed decision in March on the required follow-up treatment scheduled from April onwards.
Due to anaemia, I declined chemotherapy and radioactive therapy, the default first-line treatment protocol (standard of care). Why? Scientific studies (it was simple logic, if you ask me) have shown that injecting the body with toxins would harm and kill the good/healthy cells needed for the self-healing process. Hence, I did not want to introduce so much stress to my already 'battered body' and be a burden to my caregivers, which could lead to psychological issues in the long run.
Instead, I resolved to understand and rectify it. Clinical data showed that starving the cancer cells of sugar and glutamine will prevent them from growing, surviving, multiplying, and spreading. This metabolic therapy is non-toxic, related to naturopathy, a holistic approach to wellness.
To prepare the body, I did detoxification as prescribed by my hijama therapist to remove toxin build up (due to past ‘abuse’ – my immunity took a beating firstly due to the lack of quality sleep and irregular meals as I was heading towards burnout from work in the past year and the recent radiation from the CT scan, MRIs, Ultrasound, and X-rays done intensively back-to-back from December to January) so my body could heal and progressively function optimally again. This is an essential step (not to be skipped) so that whatever nutrition I take, in the process or thereafter, could be effectively absorbed at the cellular level and help in the healing process.
To aid the process, I did a few sessions of craniosacral therapy (enabling the cerebrospinal fluid in the Central Nervous System to assist in the removal of any hindrance), lymphatic drainage therapy (enabling the lymphatic fluid to flow out of the congested zones), and osteopathy (improving the musculoskeletal functions, neuromuscular and biomechanical balance) by the good people (therapists) at Integrated Body Therapy.
Concurrently, I fasted consistently over a period of time, sticking to a healthy diet (eating anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer food recommended by medical experts and friends who were cancer survivors or had a family member who survived it), taking supplements (mixture oil of black seed oil, carvacrol oil, early harvest extra virgin olive oil, milk thistle provided by Sade Trading; EBC-46 Aus+ Blushwood Berry Tincture, Curcumin/Tumeric root extract, and Turkish Tail Mushroom), and drinking Butterfly tea, Green tea, Hibiscus flower tea (for my anemia), MCT Wellness, and Soursop leave tea bought online or provided generously by dear friends (thank you for your support and love!).
The holistic healing also included being cognizant (recognizing and acknowledging) that past trauma could contribute to cell mutation and thereafter becoming cancerous. The immune system and the nervous system work closely to keep the body safe (they have the natural defense mechanism).
Suppressed or unresolved emotions or resentment, left to fester, could lead to emotional stagnation and affect you emotionally, psychologically and ultimately metaphysically (physiologically). That means the nervous system does not feel ‘safe enough’ or ‘feels unsafe’ to function optimally – it breaks down or shuts down, and could not be the default defense mechanism for the body. This directly impacts the immune system, making the body susceptible to attacks and subsequently cell mutation because the body is in an ‘ailing' state.
I needed to address the safety that was lost, resolve my emotional state from past traumas (and I have a handful!). Emotion and trauma healing therapy would be needed so that the body could feel ‘safe’ again to function normally at its optimum. I spoke to SJ, a Transformation coach, from Furaha Mastery (initially to understand the immunotherapy antibody, Keytruda, because as a Bio-Chemist by profession, he did his Master thesis about it, but subsequently he shared the need for emotional healing as well). As a result, I took the first step to retrace and recognize past traumas and ‘let them go’.
The more I read about cancer and ‘could connect the dots’, the more I understood that it is not a ‘death sentence’ as many claim it to be. I firmly believe in the Prophetic saying that, “Every disease has its cure, except death”. So, do not give up trying to heal. You (and your body) deserve the best treatment, naturally. I leave you with reliable sources of reference that I found useful as I work towards healing myself. Wish me luck! ❤
Dr Eric Berg – A chiropractor who specializes in Healthy Ketosis and Intermittent Fasting (drberg.com).
Dr Janine Bowring – Naturopathic doctor (vitatree.com).
Dr Josh Axe – Doctor of natural medicine, chiropractic physician and clinical nutritionist (DrAxe.com).
Dr Steven Gundry – Renowned cardiologist, surgeon, medical device inventor and author (drgundry.com and gundrymd.com).
Dr Thomas N. Seyfried – An American professor of Biology, Genetics, and Biochemistry at Boston College who spoke about the metabolic cancer therapy (tomseyfried.com, bc.edu/bc-web/schools/mcas/departments/biology/people/faculty-directory/Thomas-seyfried.html)
Forest Superfoods: forestsuperfoods.com.au
Furaha Mastery: furahamastery.com
Integrated Body Therapy: www.ibtherapy.sg
Sade Trading: sadetrading.store/m/
Friday, March 03, 2023
Catching Up
Wednesday, January 11, 2023
Boy
A girlfriend complimented "cute cat!" (referring to the cat photo I used for my WhatsApp profile picture), It is a photo of Boy I took before he departed this world on 18 Jamadil Akhir 1442H).
When asked if I would get a 'replacement', I told her not for now (still after 2 years, I could not bring myself to even think about it as Boy is irreplaceable); my heart could not bear the excruciating pain if another dies on me!
Today is 18 Jamadil Akhir 1444H. It has been 2 years since your demise. You are a constant in my thoughts and I miss you loads, Boy ❤.
I end this post with this Arabic saying: ليس الحب أن نبقى دائما بجانب من نحب ولكن الحب أن نبقى في قلب من نحب
"Love does not mean being physically present beside the one you love, rather love is when you are present in the heart (and mind) of the beloved."
"Cinta bukan berarti kita selalu berada di sisi yang kita cintai, tetapi cinta itu adalah tatkala kita berada dałam hati yang dicintai."
Saturday, December 31, 2022
2022
Today will be a short post. Reflecting on the year that has just passed and all that I had experienced, all I can say is aptly captured in QS Ghafir 40:44 (indeed, Allah is the Best of planners walhamdulilLah!):
Saturday, December 17, 2022
4 Rules
This book mentions that satisfying close relationships require, from both parties, the ability to establish and sustain intimacy, empathy, openness, and mutual as well as responsive communication. A narcissist simply cannot provide these relationship essentials (a relationship with a narcissistic is, in essence, being a relationship with someone who will never listen to you or hear you).
Based on the real terrain of pathological narcissism, the book provides a realistic roadmap of how to navigate this landscape and reclaim your true self, find healing and live an authentic and empowered life, whether you stay or go. It provides you the tools (what to watch for) and guidance on managing difficult situations.
Intrigued, I also saw her 4 "DEEP" Rules to protect the self from toxic behaviour - very empowering:
(1) Don't Defend (when somebody is saying something you do not do, do not defend it; there is no point because if you do, you start "going down the rabbit's hole", throwing yourself into a bizarre or surreal troubling state)
(2) Don't Engage (pull back and recognize that you will be "walking on egg shells" or be in a precarious situation, extremely cautious with your words or actions and no matter how you say it, you get it wrong),
(3) Don't Explain (self-explanatory when you consider the above 2 points), and
(4) Don't Personalize (it is not you but the other party, so stop saying, "It has got to be me" when it is really not; if anything, you are so emphatic, that you are easy to be taken advantage of because the other party knows you are going to keep coming back to them).
The author, Dr Ramani Durvasula, is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica, California. She is also a professor of psychology at California State University in Los Angeles.
What I took away from these, in essence, is to have the courage to walk away from those who continue to hurt you and walk alone until you find the ones who deserve you (if you are brave enough to say "goodbye", life with reward you with a new "hello"). I'll end my post with a wonderful melody by the late George Michael.
Thursday, November 17, 2022
Let Go
This is another hit song from Sarah. It is about someone realizing his/her mistakes. While no specifics mentioned (for obvious reasons because songs are meant to universally be relatable to all circumstances), she spoke about recognizing the mistakes, empowering the self to admit them, recognizing what was lost (as a consequence), and not letting people bring you down any further by continually reinforcing what you have done wrong (that you have learnt from life lessons).
You can only move forward upon admission; otherwise you are stuck because you did not own the mistake (error of judgment) and provide closure for it. And not to be too caught up with how the other party respond (or the lack of it!). In essence, it is taking care of yourself (self love) before others. You need that to remain sane and not be held hostage by others that could result in resentment! Let go when it is time to (after all efforts were lost on deaf ears). I'll end my post with extracts of the song's lyrics.
"Heaven bend to take my hand and lead me through the fire. Be the long awaited answer to a long and painful fight. In the lonely light of morning, in the wound that would not heal. It's the bitter taste of losing everything that I've held so dear."
Monday, October 17, 2022
Stay
Saturday, September 17, 2022
Don't You?
Thursday, August 11, 2022
At Odds
A single moment of misunderstanding, left unmanaged, will make us forget (in a split second) the countless meaningful years spent together. And I thought you knew me better than that? Regardless, when things are at odds, be still my heart, be steeled...
Monday, September 07, 2020
Hikmah
Like the shared meal of arancini, cioppino, pesto pasta, and gelato, we shared our woes. Yes, sometimes we (insan) need a listening ear or just an opportunity to hear different perspectives and help us make important decisions in our lives. At the back of my mind, of course the best is to follow the prophetic way of munajat - turning to Allah swt in the middle of the night to share our woes and seek His guidance and help. More importantly, accept and be pleased (redha) with the knowledge that ultimately Allah's swt is the best of planners and there is much wisdom (hikmah) in why the story unfolds the way it did. Am instinctively reminded of QS al-Bayyinah 98:8 and shall end this short post with it ❤
رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنهُم وَرَضوا عَنهُ ۚ ذٰلِكَ لِمَن خَشِيَ رَبَّهُ
"Allah is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him. That is for those who fear their Lord."










